Project Completed. 8/18/14.

Good news:  my 3-year check-up at MD Anderson went great, and we are more than thankful for another all-clear report.  Obviously, each trip out there (this time it's been 4 months) brings a certain level of anxiety and fear of the what-ifs… and also somewhat brings back a time or two in life when we didn't get that good news we were hoping and praying for.  As it has been said many times, only because we've been allowed to experience some not-so-good times/undesired outcomes we can appreciate even more the desired outcomes.

Sitting an entire day in that huge place, waiting on blood tests, drinking contrast material for the CTs, waiting on the MRIs… is a place to reflect on life, try to keep fear at bay, and try not to wish the day away.  You're surrounded with hundreds of other people going through the same thing - some in the midst of their not-so-good times and some just like me, praying and hoping for another desired report.  Sometimes we talk, sometimes we don't but eye contact there in the waiting room is always merciful, as this disease doesn't discriminate: there are distinguished officials, people of all races and nationalities, all very different, but all wearing the same scrubs and drinking the same tasty (not!) drink.  

As I waited for my MRI, in the 'back solo waiting room' (the middle room where you sit alone until your turn), I heard a family down the hall, obviously an elderly gentleman in a wheelchair who was doing all of this for the first time. His daughter and son (I think) were with him, and the nurse or assistant was telling them about the MRI and the gentleman began to tell the nurse that he had lived a great life and although he was shocked by his recent diagnosis, he didn't want his life to be over yet…after a little more conversation,  the nurse or assistant then said (probably violating all rules) "could I pray for you?" I did eavesdrop on their prayer and closed my eyes as he began to pray: "Dear heavenly Father - Your ways are better and higher than ours.  You know us and our days before we are born. We know you are good… all the time and You do not allow us to go through anything before You allow us to endure it.  And Lord, we know you told us we must walk through the trials and the valleys, not fly over, breeze past, jog or run through, but walk through.  But you tell us You are with us… "  Yes, Lord, what truth - and that nurse or assistant or angel was ministering to the gentleman in the wheelchair, and to me.  

On to other news: 

About 5 years ago, Mom began the process of praying through the idea of sharing her story… and as our family desperately wanted her to pen her journey, she wanted to make sure it was in God's timing. Actually, she was reluctant to begin for many reasons, most of which was talking about herself.  God began to impress on her heart the need to share her story…and began the process of digging out her journals and opening those drawers of her mind to that painful, difficult, yet humbling journey through cancer that began in 2004.

After Silas and Avery were born, as she was compiling journals, cards, emails (there was hardly any social media then!), I had a desire to help put this on paper, to somehow try to help her make this into a book.  Many afternoons when my babies were sleeping, I sat outside on our deck trying to allow my own mind to go back to that place… where Mom had cancer.

It's funny, no - it's not funny, it is truly amazing the way our Lord can work in and through our hearts to prepare us for things unimaginable.  As I look back now, reliving (or trying my best to) that year from May 2004 until April 2005 provided me with more than a reminder of His miracles… it is a perfect demonstration of His sovereignty, His healing, His CONTROL.

There was and is no way I could have imagined how my life would be changed after September of 2011, when I heard those very same words: cancer.  Praise God for His provision.  Praise Him for His faithfulness and His peace.  Praise Him for the HOPE… Praise Him for showing us a life worth living. Our prayer is that this book would be an encouragement to those facing battles seemingly formidable, and that it would be a resource for practical tips and suggestions for friends, family, and caregivers.

This is from the book jacket:

When one family member has cancer, the whole family has cancer.

This is not just another story of a family’s victory over cancer. The intent of the author sharing her story is to give practical suggestions to patients and their family and friends on how to help. Returning home from successful treatment in 2005, Darlene consistently receives calls, emails, and visits from people who are newly diagnosed and from the patient’s family and friends who want to know how to help their loved one. They ask her: What can I do? What should I say?

Included are suggestions for the patient on how to battle not only the disease but also the onslaught of fear and anxiety that accompanies a diagnosis such as cancer. Although every case of cancer is unique and each family is different, Darlene has found that there are some universal dos and don’ts for those who find themselves in this battle:

• Motivate yourself for the fight.

• Create ways others may join in.

• Learn how to encourage and help those battling cancer. 

Ten years after being told she had inoperable cancer, Darlene

Gore is enjoying her vibrant life with her husband, children, and grandchildren, having no evidence of disease. She relishes each day with greener greens and bluer blues than before. Her hope is that her story and the words of the book will be uplifting and encouraging to all those facing difficult times.

“Your story shows how important it is to have faith, family support, and the best medical team to focus on you as a person. Not all patients are the same, and we have a long way to go, but you are a living example of what’s possible.”

—Francisco J. Esteva, MD, PhD Director, Breast Medical Oncology New York University Langone Medical Center

“Darlene Gore and her daughter have written a poignant account of their family’s struggle with cancer that completely touched and then enveloped my heart. To those who have shared similar journeys with cancer: you will be inspired, encouraged, and emotionally renewed as you let their new book bless your life!”

—Sam Haskell, best-selling author of Promises I Made My Mother

“Darlene Gore’s story is a realistic and inspirational account of the hope, disappointments, fears, side effects, and daily realities facedby cancer patients and their families. Darlene’s experience is also an example that we must always do our utmost to provide cutting edge care for our patients because we never know with certainty who will be a long-term survivor.”

- Steven Curley, MD, FACS Professor and Chief of Surgical Oncology Baylor College of Medicine 

The book is on Amazon in paperback, hardback, and Kindle versions, and Barnes and Noble as well as in local bookstores.  

Silas and Avery go to Pre-K

Drumroll, please!  Here we go, off to Pre-K!  Silas and Avery have been excited to start their new school - and the day has come… we spent time over the weekend putting on the uniforms, as I did anticipate a little tiff or two regarding the required clothing choices of the day (namely, the shoes), but we laid out everything the night before and they were excited to wear their "new clothes"!

Look at these growing kiddos… how did this happen!?

I'm so glad they have each other - they are in the same class this first year which makes transitions much easier of course!

We actually got in the car and left on time, which was better than what I'd planned for!  On the first day, they allow moms to walk their kids into the room and forego the carpool line.  I asked Silas and Avery on the way what they would rather do, and they both wanted me to walk them in (whew! not too grown up yet!).  As we pulled onto the school's street, they saw the children already there playing on the playground.  Avery's words were priceless:  "Aww, Mommy, they all have on MY dress!"  

I didn't know what to say.  I just chuckled.  "Yes, sweetie, they do".  Of note, nothing was said of the boys' apparel.  

I walked them to their room and Avery waltzed in as if she owned the place.  Of course.  Silas hung onto my leg and said "Mom, I don't want you to go."  I leaned in and whispered what we'd already talked about on the way (no tears, this is going to be fun!) and he walked bravely on inside the room.  I quickly turned and took a deep breath and started back out to my car.  I turned back for just a peek and saw Silas leaning his head out of the room saying "Bye, bye, Mom!" and then Avery followed "I lub you Mommy!"  So sweet.  

I picked them up at 11:45 - they loved it.  I survived it.  We are all okay.  (wink).  We enjoyed a fun lunch at Chick-a-lay (as they call it) and a fun afternoon of playing.  The second day, we had to get up earlier since I was going back to work - carpool wasn't too bad… until our time to get out.  I leaned into the backseat to unlatch their carseats and Avery got right on out.  Silas had a meltdown… "Mommy, I want YOU to get me out, Please Mommy!" After failed negotiating and cars lined up behind us, I violated rules and got out of the car, helped him out of his seat, and he said "Mommy, I NEED to give you a hug"… "Mommy I need to give you a kiss"… "Mommy please don't leave me! Don't leave me!"  Ouch, bless my heart (and his, of course)… I had to drive away and it about killed me.  I knew he would be fine.  And of course, he was.  The rest of the week was no problem. 

After school every day, when I got home from work, I'd ask them what they learned or talked about that day. In true teenager fashion, they said, "nofing."  Gee, thanks kids.  I'm learning that I can infer somewhat of what they are doing - for example, yesterday, the play theme was Emergency and they each were rushing into the room in the house where the fire seemed to be, armed with their hoses and pretend swords - yelling, "It's an emergency! Call the fire truck!  Get your hoses ready!  It's an emergency, where's the fire?!" and on, and on, and on.  I suppose maybe the Dalmation room discussed about fire hydrants, fire trucks, emergencies… who knows.  

I know they've loved every day.  We have tried to get outside in the evenings this week for little walks and about 100 feet from the house the other night, Avery said "Mommy, I can't do it… my legs are tye-wad."  Tired.  I bet you are, my little chatterbox!

But at night when I lie down with them for a few minutes before bed, Silas and I were talking. I asked him who he sat by in class and he said "I don't know". I asked if it was a boy or a girl and he said "girl". I asked her name and he said "I don't know"… then he began to tell me about music class and how the teacher made another girl come sit beside him, "Lindsey. Mom, you put your tongue on your toof, L, L, Lindsey. Lindsey sat by me while we sing."  Ah, of course little buddy.  

What a week.  Silas and Avery are loving school - we knew they would… I can't believe they've started real school (I know it's only preschool) but I keep thinking they'll be in school every year for the next 20 years or so… a new phase.  It might be a new chapter, but my prayer for them remains the same:  Lord, keep them safe, guard their hearts, spirits, and minds and may they learn to know You, trust You, and truly treasure You.  I pray they never remember a time when they didn't know God and didn't feel secure.  "I pray for them….. for they are Yours" John 17:9.  

Pre- school Week

The week before school began was filled with fun activities… Here are Silas and Avery at their last morning of Mother's Day Out at FBCJ - we'll miss you Miss Lou and Miss Lynnette!  They've had so much fun going on Tuesday and Thursday mornings for three years… (mom may have cried a little after dropping them off).

We had parent orientation at Jackson Academy later that Thursday morning where I met their teachers, sat in their little chairs.. and tried to imagine and comprehend how my babies were big enough to be going to real school!!  On Friday, we all went to the Pre-K tea party where Silas and Avery could meet their teachers and classmates.  We showed them their seats:

Of course, they loved their colorful classroom - they are in the Dalmation room - and loved their teachers.

I love this picture.  Here is their sweet teacher:

Avery actually acted a little timid and reserved which was surprising, but I have no doubt that after the week started, every one was aware of the real smiley Avery.  Silas was unsure at first, but quickly took to Mrs. M and was sweet to hang close to Avery that morning. 

After the tea party, I had promised them sno-cones…. it did rain cats and dogs, but I had promised them… so we went.  Who needs a spoon?

Sometimes, they really do share!

I just love this fun time with them celebrating the end (sort of) summer…

Here is another of my favorites - Silas loves his Lincoln Logs… and was so proud of his (our) masterpiece!

Sister Avery did come through with her hurricane wand a few minutes later… oh well.  

Fourth of July 2014

We've been looking forward to our Fourth of July weekend for months!  As soon as I left work on Thursday, we headed up to meet the Sturdivants at the Lake House in Grenada to enjoy the long weekend.  We arrived late on Thursday night and the party began….Everyone was up with the sun on the 4th, and while we enjoyed our coffee on the porch, the kids ran around and jumped in the pool.  Too funny.   Note:  This was the coolest 4th weekend that I can remember… in the 70s.  We ate breakfast and went for a morning boat ride - in patriotic gear, of course!

"On the lake again….. just can't wait to get on the lake again…"

The day was filled with fun and BBQ with all the fixings… and ended with fireworks!

Early the next morning these three couldn't wait for the swimming pool and the hose…. the common picture when we spend the weekend at the lake:

Everybody takes turns...

Avery named our neighbor's fire pit area "Avery's beach".  She has staked her claim.

After smores… sparklers!

(of course with crazy glasses on)

Lady Liberty… or something like that.

We all had a great weekend celebrating family and freedom.  Like most of my other posts end, we are blessed.

Bedtime with Avery, Part 2

For a little history on the subject, see Bedtime with Avery, Part 1.  

Here is a little snippet of our current schedule:
8:00 (or optimally 7:45):  bath time
8:30pm:  bed time.  I lie in the bed with Avery every other night (when it's her turn).  We read the book they've picked out and say our prayers. 

8:35:  Avery-"Mommy, I'm thirsty, need just a sip of water"...

8:38:  "Mommy, I need to go potty again." 
8:45pm: "No more talking, it's bed time."
8:46pm:  "No more talking, it's bed time."
8:46:  Silas - "Mom, Avery is talking"  Me - "No, Silas, you are. Time to go to sleep."  
Avery - "okay mommy.  I love you."  Silas - "Mom, Avery's talking." Avery - "No, I not! Mommy, Silas not quiet…."

8:47:  "Mommy, I need to go potty..."   "Mom, I need to go potty too..." 
8:55:  silence
8:56:  Avery quietly takes her hand and strokes my arm, then my face, then my hair.  I try not to move…
9:00:  Avery continues to count my fingers then rub my hand, then begins to kiss my hand and then my cheek.
9:10:  Silence
9:12:  Silence and I begin to plot my escape
9:13:  Avery quietly leans over and opens my eye with her fingers and in a whisper…. "mommy.  Do you want to build a snowman?"  Then I laugh.  We start over….
Somewhere between 9:30 and 10pm:  I slowly move one leg then one arm, then scoot off and tip toe out of the room.  Whew. Good night.

Days of Summer 2014

Wow, how fast time flies by!  Silas and Avery have had a blast at FBCJ Summer Camps. Bruce began these camps about 8 years ago when we moved to Jackson, and this is the first summer our kids have really gotten to participate.  Each week has a different theme and is led by an awesome team of leaders - Silas and Avery come home every day talking about everything they did!  Here are pics of Adventure Camp, which included trips to the Children's Museum, Natural Science Museum, Pump It Up, and Fishing: 

 Even on rainy days, trips are fun!

 Bruce, super Dad and Uncle!

Avery kept telling me all about their fishing day, saying "and then the horse went in the water"… and I kept asking her to repeat it. She said over and over, "and the horse" this, and "the horse" that… I couldn't understand what in the world she was talking about (she is really into imaginary stories these days…) UNTIL I saw the pictures.  Well, lookie there…

Papaw, he's ready!!   Bruce said Silas and Avery even helped bait the hooks with worms.

After work, we've got one big helper with the yard work!!

One thing is for sure:  These two don't mind knocking on doors down the street when they want to play!  For example, this particular day, I came home and they had on their bathing suits, and apparently had already decided that they would knock on Jack and Betsey's door to play.  They had their towels ready and lo and behold, their plans worked!

 And another day, it was this.  At least in the backyard.

Back to camp - Pump it Up!

Days seem to be more and more full.  Just like my heart.  Man, we are blessed.

Weekend at Moppy and Poppy's House!

Since we didn't get to drive up to Tennessee at Easter, we've been wanting to take a weekend to visit Mop and Pop and the family.  Bruce had to stay and work, but Silas, Avery, and I took off bright and early Friday morning headed to Jackson, Tennessee.  We made a quick stop in Grenada to pick up Mimi and continued north.  Here are the chatterboxes who kept me entertained the entire drive:

We have been wanting to stop at the Memphis Zoo for quite some time, and this day proved perfect.  It was HOT, but was overcast which helped some.  Silas and Avery were mesmerized at all the exhibits of animals.  They led the way the whole time we were there.

Strollers are useful for steps stools, of course.

The leaders of the pack:

For some reason, Avery had it in her head that she wanted to visit China.  At each exhibit, she would ask, "is this China?" We did finally make it to the Panda exhibit, and then I realized she must have thought an animal was named China… who knows.  Maybe she wanted to call this cute one China.   We watched the Pandas eat the "sticks" for a while, and Silas wanted to figure out why and how they were able to peel the green covering off the bamboo with their teeth.  (It was fascinating to me too:-)

I wish I could remember some of the funny things they said all day.  They are at the age of making up stories and their comments keep us laughing.  Sometimes they are like an old married couple interacting with each other, correcting each other, telling one another what to do and not do, and making sure the imaginary stories are 100% factual, of course.

Then, we saw THIS place to ride a camel!!  I asked Silas and Avery if they wanted to, half-way expecting them to say no, but they both wanted to ride… and so did I!  So we all climbed aboard this one named Cotton and hung on.  I've always wanted to ride a camel.  Cotton even smiled as we paused for the picture.

And, of course the carousel was a must do.

What a fun day!  We are so glad Mimi came with us - everything is always more fun with Mimi!  I wish I could share the hilarious pics from the photo booth…. but I'll leave you to wonder.  Avery held the strip of four pictures most of the day, looking at it every few minutes and cackling out loud.



We left the zoo in the nick of time as the downpour began.  The kids napped from Memphis to Jackson and we paraded into Mop and Pop's house later that afternoon. Silas immediately hopped onto the elevator after Moppy showed him how, and rarely got off while we were at the house.  Quite the cute bellman, if you ask me.

As in true Arnold fashion, not much time goes by before the karaoke machine comes out.  Silas and Avery had been looking forward to this - they remembered Christmas and the disco ball and couldn't wait to bring the party back.

Even for an audience of none.

Sweet times.

Saturday morning, Silas and Avery were up early and ready to go to GayGay's swimming pool!

Our little diva.

And taxi driver… water taxi or land taxi?  Who cares, right?

Kaelyn and Jack came to visit that afternoon - I love watching them all play together. They're growing up too fast.

We went to dinner that night with almost the whole gang for Father's Day.

More sweetness.

And Avery took every opportunity for glamour lessons from Moppy.  I snuck in to take a picture of one of the lessons.

On the way home Sunday afternoon, we stopped in Grenada to let Mimi off and see Papaw for a few minutes.  Silas and Avery quickly challenged him to "Ping Pool", a novel game made up spontaneously by the duo.

It was a great weekend with family… we are so blessed.  We headed on home to Jackson and crashed.